Heartbreak and Rat Babies

When I was in 6th grade, I got my first official "boyfriend." It was one of those relationships that began because of peer pressure and the sheer novelty of the idea that a boy actually liked me. It was by far the most awkward and relatively embarrassing two and a half days of my life.

I remember it well, or at least I remember the fantasized version of the events that I've probably exaggerated a bit in the ten or eleven years since they actually happened. I had come back to school on a Monday morning after being home sick the Friday before, and my friend Natasha greeted my at the door to the classroom with the news that Shane, a boy whom I'd definitely considered a friend but never found particularly attractive, had "missed me" the day I was gone and "hoped that I was ok." From this, she'd concluded that he had a crush on me and had conspired with our friends to get the two of us together. I, of course, was giddy, but in the interest of feigning nonchalance, I tried to act like this news was no big deal. By the end of the day we were the sixth grade's hottest new couple. Naturally, we avoided each other like the plague.

Two days later was the last day of school. In hindsight I realize that agreeing to start "dating" somebody on the last week of school, especially elementary school, was probably not the best way to ensure a lasting relationship. I've already mentioned that the past few days had been completely awkward, but the last day of school goodbye was made all the worse by Shane's strange and unexpected decision to walk up to me after school, and under the watchful eye of our teacher, thrust a cheap box of chocolates at me. Now anybody who knows me well enough knows that I have never liked that horrible boxed chocolate. Red in the face and completely caught off guard, I muttered an "Oh, gee. Thanks," and buried my head in my locker until I was sure he had left. Later that day I wrote about how mortified I'd been in my diary and concluded the entry with "I really like him. I really hope he calls me over the summer."

Fast forward a month and a half to mid-July. I was at my friend Holly's house when she got a call from Shane's friend Adam. The conversation went something like this:

Adam: Shane wants me to tell you to tell Ana that he thinks she's stupid.
Holly: Adam says that Shane told him to tell me to tell you that he thinks you're stupid.
Ana: Fine. Tell Adam to tell Shane that I think he's stupid too.
Holly: Ana says to tell you to tell Shane that she thinks he's stupid too.

I never spoke to Shane again.

Now, why, you ask, have a shared this long-winded and seemingly pointless story about my first real boyfriend? The answer is in the comparison. When I was eleven, this was what I knew of heartbreak. Now, it just seems silly, and truthfully, it is when you compare it to the heartbreak I've experienced since sixth grade.

For a month now I've been trying to cope with the immense sadness, loneliness, and emptiness of a severely broken heart. I was so in love with a person I was convinced I had a long and happy future with, and while I'm not going to get into the fine details, I will say that the decision to break up was completely his. I am devastated. And aside from that I'm extremely angry because I've been forced now to reevaluate my entire life, which is something I thought I would never have to do. I've allowed my life to go forward. I've learned through the years that allowing the heartache to completely consume you does nothing to help you cope. So I've absorbed myself in my work, my friends, and some other questionable decision including an impromptu trip to California that I can't afford and a new tattoo, but I still think about him every day. Part of me wants the thought of him to just go away so I don't feel the pain anymore. Most of me though just wants to forgive him. Sometimes I hate how absolutely altruistic I can be.

I want to stress that I'm not writing this looking for sympathy. I've gotten plenty of that, and frankly I'm sick of everybody telling me how sorry they are for me. I understand, and I appreciate it, but unless you have access to a flux capacitor your sympathy really can't help me. I just wanted to explain why I haven't been writing. For awhile, I just couldn't. I couldn't do much of anything. Especially anything that made me face my reality. But I think sharing this is a step taken toward closure.


On a much happier note, I have recently acquired seven baby rats. I bought two female rats from the pet store shortly after Percy, my snake cage rescue, finally died after a good, long, two and a half year life. However, unknown obviously to the pet store, and unknown to me as well, one of my rats gave birth about a week and a half after I brought them home. The babies are absolutely adorable! And they're very entertaining to watch. I'll have to take them out of the cage and separate the boys from the girls in about a week. After that I'm going to start giving them to anybody who promises to give them a good home, which means not feeding them to anything else. Anybody want a rat?

Four Months Later...

I don't generally have the chat feature enabled while I'm on Facebook, but I figured I might stop ghosting if it will give me something to do other than mastering the pinball game on my computer at work, which after two days, I've already done. I've also played about a million games of solitaire, hearts, spider solitaire, free cell, minesweeper, and text twist; done about 14,000 crossword puzzles, and watched enough pointless PBS shows to make one's eyes bleed. Now don't get me wrong, I like my job. I do, but on nights like this, where the most complicated thing I had to do was run a required weekly test, I think a little virtual human interaction might just keep me from going stir crazy.

Also, I'm not going to bother explaining why I haven't blogged since August. Blame it on moving, not having internet for three months, getting a second job, rat babies, and having my heart ripped to shreads.

Maybe I'll explain those last two later.

The Universal Food

My good friend Carol Bleuel and I have a long-standing tradition of finding humor in the very mundane. I offer no commentary on what this says about our society, but take a look at what we noticed on a recent spin through the grocery store. Pizza, anybody?

Stepping Out Into the Real World

I spent a lot of time contemplating what I could do with my life that didn't include entering the working world. Alas, I wound up getting a job anyway.

However, this is no regular 9-5. I actually got a job in my field. Crazy, right? In this economy!

I am very excited. I think I'm more excited to gain the experience and the job security that I was really scared of not having. I was scared of not having an income, a place to live, and most of all, that I would have to spend every day for the rest of my life applying for jobs I either didn't want or wasn't qualified for.

So what is it that I "do"?

I recently got a job on the production crew at Wisconsin Public Television. The station is run out of Vilas, so I didn't even have to move off campus to get another job. Ridiculous, right? It's perfect. And while it is only part-time, meaning that I do have to get another job to be able to pay to live alone, I can't imagine finding a better fit for a first job. It will certainly look good on my resume in the future.

I haven't done much aside from training so far, but last week I did help out at Concerts on the Square. It was sort of a surreal experience, but after 10 1/2 hours of work, I left feeling satisfied and energetic, a feeling I hadn't gotten from working at Frank's Place for a long time.

I'm really happy, and things are looking up.

A big thanks to Jeremy Jewett for keeping this in his inbox for four years and knowing in the end that I would be ok.

Dear friend,

Congratulations on dominating four years of college. See how far you've come? Enjoy the summer.

jrj

--- On Thu, 9/7/06, ANASTASIA MARIE DETERT wrote:


From: ANASTASIA MARIE DETERT
Subject: Re: oggians
To: "Jeremy Jewett"
Date: Thursday, September 7, 2006, 8:12 PM

Truthfully, my first week was terrible. Right now all I wanna do is drop
all my classes, get a refund, and go home. Apparently, though, nobody
else wants me to, and my mom won't let me. And I have no life. Most of
my free time this week has been spent doing homework that just keeps
acumulating. I can't win. Any suggestions? You can be my mentor and help
me from dying a slow and painful death here.

Serendipity

Natalie told me yesterday that the youngest child in the family is more likely to take risks. I don't know if that's true, but I'd have to say that I'm probably more spontaneous than my brother. Take for instance, our impromptu frolic in the rain last night.

It went something like this:

Natalie and I had been sitting in my living room with the windows shut and curtains closed to keep out the heat from the sun. Little did we know that it had actually started to rain... well, downpour.

"You wanna go outside?"

It had left my mouth before I knew what I was saying. I'm surprised that Natalie agreed.


And of course, we brought out my camera to capture our moment of serendipity.

Who Really Needs a Real-World Job Anyway?

In the wake of my recent college graduation, I've been forced to try to find a career in a job market that sucks and with a resume that looks even worse. Thus, aside for settling in a 9-5 at McDonald's for the rest of my life, I've begun thinking of some more creative career paths.

Could I blog for a living?

Yes. Personally, I would be totally content writing my thoughts down and letting others read them, especially if I felt that the experiences I share have the ability to touch somebody on a much deeper level than just for pure entertainment. And I fully believe that while I often portray myself as a mild-mannered, middle-of-the-road kind of person, my life is far more extraordinary than I let on.

I suppose the only problem I've run into with this career path is finding an audience big enough to legitimize my earning money to post my life story on the internet.

Maybe someday?

Flori-DUH!: The Final Chapter

For fear of ending this school year without having ever experienced that real procrastination-induced all-nighter that so many of my friends have told me about, I've decided to put off writing my paper (due Thursday) until tomorrow night. Consequently, I'm going to try to finish up my trip in this blog post, as I have realized that there have been several other things I've wanted to write about but haven't because I didn't want to mess up the flow of these posts. But, I digress... So, as they say in those old explorer movies, ONWARD!

Wednesday, March 31 - Thursday, April 1
Chillin' At the Holiday Inn

After our adventures at Universal we spent the next two days relaxing next to the pool at the resort, which, consequently, was not the Holiday Inn. It was actually called Bahama Bay Resort and Spa. We stayed in a three bedroom, two bath condo overlooking a pond area, complete with spouting fountain. The weather was fantastic, and spending time there was really great. On top of the pool, there were hot tubs, sand volleyball, pool (the old-timers might call it billiards), walking trails (really only glorified sidewalks, but still nice), free movie rentals, and an exercise room.

To be honest, nothing truly remarkable happened those two days, though maybe that's for the best considering how tiring the previous ones had been. After a trip to Target, where Drew and Slick Willy bough matching swim trunks--they were so cute--we made our way outside for some fun in the sun. We played a little frisbee, read a book or two, cooled off in the pool, and just generally relaxed. Overall, the day was very relaxing, but boy, oh boy, was that sun strong! Poor Briana and I were putting on sunscreen every half hour or so and we still got burned! In fact, after the first day the two of us snuck off to Wal-Mart for some aloe lotion... for Nick Wilson, of course. Poor guy's chest was redder than a cherry.

Thursday was much like Wednesday, except that Briana and I spent much more time in the shade. Nick was still convinced that he would tan over his burn, so he stubbornly stayed out in the sun. He used a lot of aloe lotion that evening. We played some more frisbee, which was fun, but as a general rule our aim was terrible. Drew showed off during Frisbee by continually jumping the fence over which the Frisbee often flew. Nick tried to do the same, but struggled a bit. Briana volunteered to crawl into the bushes, and I just stood by and took pictures to commemorate. Afterward we met a bunch of people on vacation from Canada who we played some volleyball with. After a few games (all of which we lost by a fairly large margin), we rinsed off in the pool, went inside, showered, made dinner, and hung out until Drew's parents and little brother got in from the airport.

Friday, April 2
Welcome to Duloc

Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your...

face!

Pardon the interruption, but no matter how many times I hear that song I am thoroughly amused by it. But, on to the matter at hand. Drew's father is a stressful man, and our morning at Universal Studios was rather stressful for that very reason, especially for Briana and me, who were all but ignored for most of the morning except by Drew's mother, who, God bless her, puts up with it on a daily basis. I'm sure she's adapted well to it, though, considering all the practice I'm sure she gets. Nevertheless, I'll recount in record time my day at the Studios (it's a pet name; just go with it).

The morning consisted of running, literally, to the Rip Ridin' Rockit Roller Coaster, touted as "the most interactive roller coaster in the world," or something to that respect. The ride is brand new, thus the rush to get to it was chaotic and, we later found out, completely unnecessary. After waiting in line for about fifteen minutes, we were informed that they were experiencing technical difficulties and had to shut down the ride. Of course, they allowed us to sit in line for close to an hour before kicking us out and telling us to come back later, but not before our group left with about sixteen fast passes that, of course, could be used on any ride in the park except the one we had just waited an hour to an hour and a half to get on. We made use of the fast passes later in the day, after the park got a little busier and lines were longer than fifteen minute waits.

Our first and only photo op of the morning came after we had ridden both The Mummy coaster, which may have been my favorite ride in the entire park--we went on it again, twice, later in the afternoon--Spiderman (also fantastic), and the Jaws Boat tour. The big shark scared Bri Bri when it popped out of the water. Priceless. Just before stopping for mid-morning funnel cakes, Drew's parents insisted we all stand next to Jaws and get a picture. I, of course, decided to be the one to put my head in its mouth, so you can barely see me in the picture, but as a whole it turned out to be one of my favorites from the trip.

After our funnel cake stop we spent another three hours being dragged around the park (to various rides, one of my favorites was the Disaster movie ride because it incorporated behind-the-scenes tricks of movie-making) by Drew's dad, Drew, and Nick Wilson. I think they may have been going for the Guinness World Record for fastest spin through a theme park, at least that's certainly what it felt like. Aside from feeling like I was on the wrong end of the dog leash, I appreciated Drew's parents for paying for our lunch (and consequently our dinner later that evening). Being the poor college student that I am (that we all are), it was nice to not have to spend my own money on overpriced burgers and fries. And don't get me wrong, Drew's parents are for the most part very pleasant to be around, but it was definitely a stressful experience. I know that at least Briana and I were relieved when they decided to leave shortly after lunch.

We spent the rest of the afternoon revisiting most of the park, especially the parts that we had practically run through early in the day. We stopped to take pictures of us wearing funny hats (or beaded wigs), which is always fun. We also rode Men in Black two or three times, experienced a real-ish tornado in Twister, and let a middle-ages street wench hit on Drew's little brother Tyler after getting off the Shrek ride.

By the end of the day and a few last rides, including Jimmy Neutron, which I'm pretty sure Briana and I were the only people over fifteen who weren't there with kids, we headed to the gift shops so that Nick Wilson could get himself a shot glass. I got a couple, too. One of them has a T-Rex bursting out of it! It's definitely my favorite. It makes me happy just looking at it. We decided to head out sometime around 8pm. Maybe it wasn't quite that late. It's a little fuzzy. Of course before we left we stopped and took pictures by the Universal Globe. It's on Briana's camera, though, so I can't show you.

When we got back to the condo we were all pooped. Drew wasn't feeling well. We attributed it to heat exhaustion and possibly a little dehydration, so he lay down and we ordered a pizza. We ate and packed and then went to bed. We had to get up to leave by 5:00 the next morning, so we all turned in early.

Saturday, April 3 - Sunday, April 4
Return of the Jedi Drivers

The drive home was more or less uneventful. On our way through Georgia we passed a Chick-fil-a advertisement/water tower. There were cows on it. I was thoroughly amused. We drove straight through from Orlando to Madison with a quick stop in the Falls to pick up Nick's car from Drew's parents' house. We made really good time, though, getting into Madison around 1:00am. And because we were all absolutely exhausted, getting into bed never looked so good.

So that's it, I guess. I hope I didn't bore my loyal readers too much with the details of my trip. Sorry, also, that it took so long to write about. Nevertheless, you can look back now for some more interesting pieces in the near future.

Peace, Love, and Car Trips.

Flori-DUH!: Part 2

I am skipping class today for two reasons.
#1: The particular class I'm choosing to skip is the one where the TA doesn't even know my name. Combine that with the fact that it's cold out and the class is across campus and you've got a solid excuse.
#2: The fact that I'm taking this class pass/fail leaves no motivation for me to attend. We've had two of our three tests and I've got a solid A. I'm pretty sure docking my participation grade for not attending discussion really won't hurt my chances of passing the class.

So here I sit, and what better way to pass the time than to continue the sage known as my spring break?

Tuesday, March 30
Adventures in Jurassic Park

We woke up bright and early Tuesday morning--if one can consider 8:00am "bright and early"--and got ready for our day at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure. After a quick shower and breakfast, we rushed out the door in true Wilson/Wuenstel fashion, set the GPS, and crawled into the car for our "15 minute trip" to the park.

The trip took us close to an hour. Partial blame goes to traffic, which was absolutely ridiculous. Nobody in Florida knows how to drive, and the stop lights are timed just perfectly so that it's nearly impossible to drive through one without getting stopped at the next. I also lay partial blame on the GPS for telling Drew to turn off at an exit that thoroughly complicated our route. I give the final portion of blame to my navigationally-challenged boyfriend and Slick Willy, who decided it was a good idea to turn the GPS off before we got to the park. The result was further delay when we were taken about four miles off course in the middle of a residential neighborhood.

Regardless of our troubles, we did eventually make it to the park. This would certainly be a pathetic story if we hadn't. And, because it took us another half hour or so just to get into the parking garage due to very slow service at gate, Drew and Nick were ready to hit the ground running, literally. The second we got out of the car Briana and I knew that the backs of their heads would be a familiar sight.

Around 1pm, after a good morning waiting in line (and noticing we all wore the same brand of shoes), riding roller coasters and water rides, we decided to head back to the car for lunch. Being the frugal college students we all are, we decided to pack sandwiches for lunch instead of eating in the park. We had one little hiccup, however. Sometime throughout the morning's festivities, my ticket went MIA. In hindsight I realize that this wasn't the complete disaster that I was making it out to be at the time, though we did waste another twenty minutes or so waiting in line at the customer service station so that I could get it reprinted and thus reenter the park.

The rest of the day went swimmingly. We enjoyed the Hulk, Spider-Man, Dueling Dragons (about six times), and a particular water ride called Popeye & Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges, also known as Popeye's water torture. I got soaked! From head to toe. So soaked, in fact, that I had to go to the bathroom and wring out my clothes. To add insult to injury, I had to walk--well, waddle--around for the rest of the day. I'm sure I was the only one who didn't find it very funny.

We didn't get to go to Hogwarts. Harry Potter land doesn't open until June. Of course, though, they had to tempt us. The line for dueling dragons wound right through Hogsmeade. They had us go through a makeshift tunnel. Temporary black walls blocked our view of most of the area. I was itching for a look, though. I peeked through every crack and opening I could. It looks fantastic. Maybe I'll have to go back this summer to check it out. Too bad we didn't get any free tickets when the Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit broke down three days later.

Some of the most fun we had at the park was the time we spent inside the play area in Jurassic Park. There were climbing nets, water guns, slides, hidden caverns, and waterfalls. Of course the place was littered with little kids. It's supposed to be a kids' area. Maybe that's why we all had so much fun. Later we also explored the play area in Seuss Land. It wasn't as cool as Jurassic Park, but we still had a good time.

The day ended a whole lot better than it started. After getting lost and losing my ticket, I wasn't sure there was much hope, but I was surprised by how much fun the four of us could make out of the simplest situations, like a slide too small to fit any of us down it, let alone all of us, or taking pictures with a fake T-Rex. We were all exhausted at the end of the day. Some of us were still a bit wet. Ok... I was still a bit wet. Nevertheless, we eventually got back to the condo, got into some more comfortable clothing, and relaxed for the rest of the evening.

Alright, it's taken me two hours to write this. I'll update some more again soon.

Flori-DUH!: Part 1

I'm debating whether or no to tell my mom just how many times I nearly died in Florida this week. I'm exaggerating a bit of course, but I swear to God everybody in that state has a death wish. I was dragged into this treacherous plot unwillingly. Nevertheless, more on that in a bit. We'll go in chronological order:

Sunday, March 28th - Monday, March 29
The Journey

Drew, Briana, Nick Wilson, and I started out our trip from Drew's parents' house in Menomonee Falls. We were up and out of the house by 6:00am and, after a fairly non-eventful day of driving, lay our heads to rest in Cordele, Georgia, sometime around 9:30pm. That day Drew and Nick Wilson drove the entire time, and besides the runaway truck ramps in Tennessee and the sixteen lane highway in Atlanta, the drive itself was pretty blase. It was raining pretty badly for some time. Nick Wilson was driving like a FIB, and we were pretty much all yelling at him to stop tailgating when we could barely see forty feet in front of the car because of the rain. It was pretty typical.

After waking up the next morning and running on the treadmill in the hotel's expansive exercise facility (two treadmills and an eliptical), we stole copious amounts of food (a few Jimmy Dean sandwiches and a packet of oatmeal) and rushed out the door to get back on the road. This, in hindsight, was a terrible idea, specifically because I let the boys check the room before we left instead of doing it myself. The result: both my iPod and my jewelry were left in the hotel room. They found the iPod, but I am now without two pairs of earrings and the necklace and bracelet Drew got me for Christmas. I feel naked. :-(

Somewhere in Southern Georgia or Northern Florida was where we first almost died. Briana was driving, and through no fault of her own this giant bus-RV began merging into our lane while we were right next to it. I don't recall if there was another car in the next lane, and I have no idea how we got out of being crushed, but from that point on, I didn't trust any cars we drove next too. Turns out that this mistrust was indeed a valid one, as later that evening we were also almost killed...THRICE!

We made it to the resort relatively unscathed after "the incident," and settled into our three bedroom, two bath condo, definitely better than staying in some skeezy motel. We ate, explored a bit, and decided to take a trip to Downtown Disney to explore the plethora of gift shops. I bought myself a personalized mug from the Lego store, to add to my growing collection, and we took lots of pictures with funny hats, next to shiny cars, and underneath the giant Tinkertoy windmill. It was an enjoyable evening, certainly a good way to end a boring (and somewhat stressful) couple of days of driving.

Though our night wasn't over. We still had to drive back to the resort, and this proved to be more dangerous than we had expected because when tired mothers of three get behind the wheel of their overflowing minivan after a long day at Disney World, one should watch out. It will not be pretty. I can't even remember how it all happened. It happened so fast, and by fast I mean that we were nearly hit by three different cars on three different occasions in about the span of thirty seconds. The last was the scariest. A light-colored pickup truck tried to merge into our lane after realizing it didn't actually want to take the exit it was halfway up. The result: erratic movements, screaming, and almost a funeral. I applaud Nick Wilson for keeping us in one piece through all of this, but I'm sure he'll be bragging about it for the next couple of years. I may get sick of him.

We made it back to the resort alright. It was probably something close to a miracle we didn't get into a car accident. We checked out Up In The Air from the front desk and watched about half of it before going to bed.

So ends "The Journey."
More to come soon.

Who Blocks Off A Dead End Street?!

I'm not one to focus solely on the crappy things in life. I enjoy when things go my way, as anybody does. I like it when things go well for people I care for. Take for instance, Drew, who has been officially accepted to the Medical College of Wisconsin. I am ecstatic for him because he's worked so hard and really deserves to go to med school. I'm happy for my brother, who after tossing ideas back and forth about what he wanted to do with his life, will be graduating in May from the University of Wisconsin - Oshkosh and, as far as I know, will be pursuing his Masters. That's way more dedication to school than I have. I wonder when we switched roles. I always thought I was the one who wanted to be in school forever. I'm happy for my dad, who seems to have found his niche in Community Theater. And I'm happy for Mr. K, who is almost two years old and is still kickin' (a very big accomplishment for a rat, indeed.)

However, life is never perfectly peachy for everybody, and sometimes we just need to let it all out. So I apologize as this post now turns downward. Here is my rant, in no particular order.

#1 This is the second weekend in a row I've gone outside to leave (both times to go to the library, in fact) and have been greeted by a roadblock and a myriad of runners. When I go over to Drew's place, I usually park my car in a lot at the end of a dead-end street near his building. The street ends because if you kept going, you'd drive yourself right into the lake. The street is also crossed by a footpath that runs perpendicular to it along the lake. Apparently, every time a sponsored run takes place in this city this intersection is along the route, meaning that every time a sponsored run takes place, they block off the street. I'm all for running, but I really question the judgment of whoever thinks it is a good idea to block off the only outlet of a DEAD END street. A street, no less, that has three parking lots attached to it. I know I'm not the only person who needs to leave during these things. Today was even worse because Drew was already late for a group meeting and because of this little mishap, he was forced to walk to the library.

#2 For the most part, I like my classes. However, sometimes my English teacher makes me want to pull my hair out. I'm taking a grammar and syntax class. It's incredibly easy. Unfortunately, my teacher always seems to find a way to make something so easy that it's hard. On top of this, it's completely pointless trying to argue a point because she is absolutely unswaying in her opinions about what the correct answer is, even after being presented with information from the book that contradicts her. It's extremely frustrating knowing that I am right and being treated like I am merely stubborn and obtuse.
I do not claim to know everything there is to know about the English language. In fact there have been things in this class I just didn't understand until somebody else explained it to me. Nevertheless, I do claim to know--and better yet, to understand--many things about the complexities and intricacies of English syntax. Yet, it seems that she has this uncanny ability to oversimplify things to a point that I get tripped up:

"It is a noun working as a possessive determiner."
"So, it's a possessive determiner. You just said so yourself."
"No. It's a noun."

This is completely insane. Yes, that conversation did take place.
I'm not stupid. I understand this stuff way more than a lot of the people in class. Of course, it's only fair to penalize me for knowing too much. Ugh.

#3 On another academic note, it's now the tenth week of classes, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in my Sociology of Law discussion who's name the TA hasn't even attempted to learn. It's a little discouraging. Why should I show up to class, participate, and ask questions if I'm otherwise invisible. I guess it's because I'm not a Legal Studies major.

#4 I can never do my laundry when I actually have time to do my laundry. Four roommates, one washer/dryer... enough said.

To end on a positive note, here's a short list of things that have been going well for me lately:
The weather has been absolutely beautiful lately, and it looks like it's gonna stay that way at least for the rest of the week. I guess it's supposed to rain on Saturday, but who cares?! I'm leaving for Florida the next day anyway! Speaking of Florida, I'm really excited. Hopefully the weather will be nice. I'm really looking forward to relaxing for Spring Break.
Drew and I have an anniversary coming up. And I'm talking a real one, not like one of those BS month-iversaries. Mark your calendars. March 26. <3
I am graduating in less than two months! I still don't have a job, but I'm taking things in stride. I'm going to start applying for at least one job every day or every other day (depending on how much work has to go into the application). I think that's doable, and it means I'm being proactive. Plus, I have Rob hounding me to find a job for fall so that I can afford to live in Madison and so that he has a roommate.
My rat is the cutest, laziest little thing on thing on the planet. He is lying down in his little corner of the cage, exerting the least amount of effort possible to drink his water. He hasn't gotten up. He just stuck his head out far enough to reach the bottle. I'm telling you, so lazy. But absolutely adorable.

This has been much longer than anticipated. Thanks for listening.

I'm Ok

I would like to write with more frequency. Unfortunately, it seems the only times I actually feel like I have something to write about I'm nowhere near a computer. This is my attempt to write more often, though, to keep my one and only reader (Hi, Tamara!) up to date.

I think Drew and I are both really stressed about graduation. He's definitely a lot better at dealing with it though. Lord only knows that I suck at coping with life changes. This would definitely be one of those life changes that I've had breakdowns about more than once already this semester. I'm so very grateful for the people who have listened to me and helped me get my head out of my ass. I'm planning on calling tomorrow to get an appointment with a career advisor to see what kind of options I have. I also think I'm going to talk to my academic advisor on Thursday, just to cover my bases. Hopefully between the two of them I can get some help in trying to figure out what I want to do and how to do it. I'm feeling a little better about everything, at least for now.

Save Me. I'm lost.

I've come to the unfortunate realization that life moves on, whether I'm ready for it or not.

This very basic concept has me scared, petrified actually, to the point where I feel paralyzed. Those who know me well know that I don't cope very fabulously with change. It usually has its way of creeping in and disabling most of my necessary cognitive and logical functions. And, as I ready myself for graduation and a hard and fast trip to the real world, I'm coming to find that this proves no different.

While it appears that most of my friends have plans lined up for them after graduation, either grad school or an internship or a job, I seem to be one of the few who had absolutely no answer to the question "what next?". I'm so sick of not having any goals. Yet, while this alone would be motivation enough for somebody normal to get on the internet and start looking for a future, I'm sitting around hoping that I'll be struck by some divine epiphany and know exactly what I want to do and where I want to go.

Another problem fueling all this indecision is my boyfriend Drew, who will be going to Med school in the fall. We just don't know where. I don't want to get established in a city where he isn't. I know the toils of being in a long-distance relationship, and I really don't think he understands how scared I am that him leaving might absolutely ruin the good thing we have going. I really am ridiculously in love with him.

Did I mention I'm graduating with a degree in Communication Arts? I have the kind of background to go into television or film, but I can't honestly say that I'd enjoy either of those professions. Even if I did, I wouldn't know where to begin. Maybe I should be asking you (if anybody even reads this) for advice. Where do I begin?

Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground...

…or with no pants at all, which seemed to be one of tonight’s themes on the Grammy’s. That, and sequins. Lots, and lots, of sequins. It seems that every single person who set foot on stage was wearing copious amounts of “bling.” From Lady Gaga’s rhinestone encrusted thong unitard to Elton John’s rhinestone sunglasses (I’m actually still wondering if he could see through those.), it seems like the stars were trying to out-do each other to see who could win the shiniest outfit award. On the other hand, I also noticed a blaringly obvious lack of pants on the female performers. Leave it to T-Swift to be the only girl classy enough to cover up. I don’t really appreciate the fact that the media is, more or less, telling us that it is acceptable to walk around in public leaving very, very little to the imagination. But who knows… maybe I’ll go out tomorrow and buy myself a see-through, flesh-toned, rhinestone-encrusted body suit so that I can be more like Pink. It’s just ridiculous. I can understand the shiny thing. Actually, I condone the shiny thing. I really think the type of images that the media condones is terrible, though. Nobody who wears next to nothing in public should be considered cool. Put on some clothes. I don’t want to see your crotch.

All fashion aside, one of my favorite moments was when Kings of Leon offered shots backstage to anybody who wanted them, and Green Day kindly accepted. Because who would give up free shots? And I also have to throw a little shout out to Taylor Swift, who is, by the way, practically married to my co-worker Brandon (at least he thinks so), for winning album of the year. I’m sure Kanye would disagree, but it is my expert opinion that Beyonce didn’t deserve it.