I would like to write with more frequency. Unfortunately, it seems the only times I actually feel like I have something to write about I'm nowhere near a computer. This is my attempt to write more often, though, to keep my one and only reader (Hi, Tamara!) up to date.
I think Drew and I are both really stressed about graduation. He's definitely a lot better at dealing with it though. Lord only knows that I suck at coping with life changes. This would definitely be one of those life changes that I've had breakdowns about more than once already this semester. I'm so very grateful for the people who have listened to me and helped me get my head out of my ass. I'm planning on calling tomorrow to get an appointment with a career advisor to see what kind of options I have. I also think I'm going to talk to my academic advisor on Thursday, just to cover my bases. Hopefully between the two of them I can get some help in trying to figure out what I want to do and how to do it. I'm feeling a little better about everything, at least for now.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Save Me. I'm lost.
I've come to the unfortunate realization that life moves on, whether I'm ready for it or not.
This very basic concept has me scared, petrified actually, to the point where I feel paralyzed. Those who know me well know that I don't cope very fabulously with change. It usually has its way of creeping in and disabling most of my necessary cognitive and logical functions. And, as I ready myself for graduation and a hard and fast trip to the real world, I'm coming to find that this proves no different.
While it appears that most of my friends have plans lined up for them after graduation, either grad school or an internship or a job, I seem to be one of the few who had absolutely no answer to the question "what next?". I'm so sick of not having any goals. Yet, while this alone would be motivation enough for somebody normal to get on the internet and start looking for a future, I'm sitting around hoping that I'll be struck by some divine epiphany and know exactly what I want to do and where I want to go.
Another problem fueling all this indecision is my boyfriend Drew, who will be going to Med school in the fall. We just don't know where. I don't want to get established in a city where he isn't. I know the toils of being in a long-distance relationship, and I really don't think he understands how scared I am that him leaving might absolutely ruin the good thing we have going. I really am ridiculously in love with him.
Did I mention I'm graduating with a degree in Communication Arts? I have the kind of background to go into television or film, but I can't honestly say that I'd enjoy either of those professions. Even if I did, I wouldn't know where to begin. Maybe I should be asking you (if anybody even reads this) for advice. Where do I begin?
This very basic concept has me scared, petrified actually, to the point where I feel paralyzed. Those who know me well know that I don't cope very fabulously with change. It usually has its way of creeping in and disabling most of my necessary cognitive and logical functions. And, as I ready myself for graduation and a hard and fast trip to the real world, I'm coming to find that this proves no different.
While it appears that most of my friends have plans lined up for them after graduation, either grad school or an internship or a job, I seem to be one of the few who had absolutely no answer to the question "what next?". I'm so sick of not having any goals. Yet, while this alone would be motivation enough for somebody normal to get on the internet and start looking for a future, I'm sitting around hoping that I'll be struck by some divine epiphany and know exactly what I want to do and where I want to go.
Another problem fueling all this indecision is my boyfriend Drew, who will be going to Med school in the fall. We just don't know where. I don't want to get established in a city where he isn't. I know the toils of being in a long-distance relationship, and I really don't think he understands how scared I am that him leaving might absolutely ruin the good thing we have going. I really am ridiculously in love with him.
Did I mention I'm graduating with a degree in Communication Arts? I have the kind of background to go into television or film, but I can't honestly say that I'd enjoy either of those professions. Even if I did, I wouldn't know where to begin. Maybe I should be asking you (if anybody even reads this) for advice. Where do I begin?
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