Less Than 3

Yesterday I was reading through Postsecret--which by the way, if you don't read it, you should start--when I came across a postcard that said "I'm finally starting to realize that being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely." I think this rings quite true in my current situation. I spent many months convinced that I wasn't a complete person if I wasn't in a relationship, and I tried exceptionally hard to regain a "better half."



Unfortunately, this has caused more problems than I'd like to admit. My biggest downfall in relationships most recently is that I just don't know what I want, and I wind up hurting people who decide they want me. I was also convinced that if I didn't immediately fall in love with somebody that he wasn't worth my time. Personally, I know that this is completely delusional, but I can't seem to help myself from pushing away really nice guys becasue they aren't absolutely perfect. That being said, I think I've finally hit that point where I can actually admit to my problems and try to work on them, as well as admit that being single isn't terrible. Maybe being alone is just the therapy I've needed... at least until I figure out what I want.

Now, here's where I turn into a hypocrite, because I've been dating (casually, mind you) a guy from my frisbee team for the past couple weeks. My internal battle rages on while I try desperately to not push him away like I've done with every other guy who's been interested in me in the past 7 or 8 months. Now, what I've done right I suppose is that I've been very straight forward about my intentions and my feelings, and it seems he still wants to spend time with me. I can't help but worry, though, that I'm eventually going to hurt him too.

:-/

Life is hard.

Craigslist

I've recently been spending a lot of time on Craigslist looking for apartments. My apartment search is over; however, the absolute vastness of Craigslist itself has peaked my interest, and I have found myself exploring the other areas of the site. What I have discovered, though am not really surprised by, is that people try to sell some WEIRD stuff on the internet. The following list will plead my case:

1.) 50-cent hot air popcorn popper (no cover) -- It has always been my dream to let the popcorn explode all over the kitchen. At least it's a good price
2.) Entertainment Weekly (1,000 issues) - $50 -- I don't necessarily think Entertainment Weekly is weird, but the very nature of the magazine makes even last week's issue outdated. Thus, not worth my fifty bucks.
3.) PORTA POT-POLY JOHN - $325 -- "Seldom used" according to the ad. The pefect addition to any home! Keeps those pesky visitors in check. Instead of having to clean your bathroom, just send them to the port-a-potty in the back yard.
4.) Rabbit manure for your gardens! -- Good thing it's free, because I wouldn't pay for that crap. Get it? Crap? ;-)
5.) pulpit - $75 -- For those entrepreneurial religious types.
6.) ELECTRIC TWIN HOSPITAL BED W/MATTRESS - $150 -- A must-have for the ill and elderly!
7.) Nice Toothbrush Holder and Soap Dish Set -- There are some items that I feel one should just cut his losses and take to Goodwill...
8.) Burial Crypt for 2 - $4600 -- Now the real question is if the person selling this is getting divorced, or has she just decided she isn't going to die? Also, this is just plain creepy.
9.) Doggie Dooley waste disposal system - $20 -- "Works like a Septic Tank." What ever happened to the good ol' days when our parents would use cereal boxes to collect the dog poop?
10.) RailRoad Signal Light -- What the hell!? Did somebody steal this? And if so, are we prepared for an inevitable train crash?
11.) Pepsi/Hardees Plastic Ruler for the Collector -- It's a plastic ruler. Cut your losses and throw it out. Especially if you're only looking to sell it for $1.

I think I rest my case. Maybe I'll look again in the future and make a Part 2.

Babies?

There have been many times in my life that I've had dreams about having kids. Usually these dreams entail some horrible experience that leaves me hoping I never experience the "joys" of pregnancy. Last night this wasn't the case. While I remember very little of the dream, I do know that I woke up feeling something different, something happy and content. I know I'm only 22 years old, and because of this I'm certainly in no rush to have children. I think, though, that maybe I won't cry in despair if/when I do wind up getting pregnant in the future, and that's probably a good thing.